☆ Hope ☆

Even during the darkest of nights light can still be found. 

Whether it be the moon, the stars or the electric flash of an angered light

Swamped by a darkness,
Unbearable
As it seems to have overtaken mind and heart
Have i blacked out from reality?
Simply just soared to another realm
refusing to acknowledge the feelings of the heart and acceptance of it by the mind.

This space seems rather blissful

Numb to everything that meant to trigger a tear, or jilt the heart in delight…

Where and when was it lost?

But then there is the hope of finding it again Guided by the streaks of moonlight that are held captive by the overshadowing thoughts of gloom.
Or the faint lil star shining bright despite the overpowering darkness of the blackness it lies within.
Or…
Even that which 1 fears most,
Like the angered streaks of a master lashing! 

This –

May very well be the light that guides one out of this unexplainable feeling.

《 This battle 》

She seems composed
But deep within a silent war is raging

At times she is able to douse it

But than there is the rush, the gripping sensation that trickles into her thoughts 

She blocks them out

Turning to prayer 

Turning to the one – the only one – that can rescue her from herself

She’s afraid of consuming herself through her own weakness, her own temptations, her own…

Yet she tries with all the strength that is left in her.

As this is way too familiar, 

As she once found herself deep within this vicious waters that almost – almost stripped her of all that has made her whole today

But – She has deteriorated…

How, when, why – 

She cant seem to fathom.

As the droplets prick at burning eyes her heart pulses out in a cry, in a plea!

Her lips remain unmoved and all that she hears in the deadly silence – 

is her frantic whisper from deep within, 

“Save me – from myself”

I wonder if ’tis true? 

Why they ask?
Why waste your time…
I wonder if it is true?
But they dont see the passion in her voice,
The fire in her heart,
Nor the thirst in her spirit!
Calling out through the little gestures,
Words of encouragement 

and 

the playful sarcasm?
They see her as soft, 

maybe even weak?
Not fit for this crowd?
But she wont step down!
They dont get it do they?
That all she desires is to touch one soul
Leave an imprint on one soul – 
So when they remember –  after years to come
They will recollect and realise her worth.
Maybe not then – 

when it is too late
Maybe it would engrain itself to some and…

As they leap forward in this world of uncertainty her little efforts would be constant reminders.
And they will ask, questioning themselves –
I wonder if it is true?

Dungeon of darkness

Swamped by a darkness,

Unbearable!

As it seems to have overtaken mind and heart
Have I blacked out from reality?

Simply just soared to another realm refusing to acknowledge the feelings of the heart and acceptance of it by the mind..
This space seems rather blissful
Numb to everything that meant to trigger a tear, or jilt the heart in delight…
Where and when was it lost?

But then there is the hope of finding it again guided by the streaks of moonlight, that are held captive by the overshadowing thoughts of gloom.
Or the faint lil star shining bright despite the overpowering darkness of the blackness behind it.
Or…
Even that which one fears most, like the angered streaks of a master lashing, may very well be the light that guides one out of this unexplainable feeling.

Lost in a Fairytale

She wishes for that fairytale…

The happily ever after
The swooning under the moon

As she eagerly searches for the one,
The one for whom her heart is made for…
The one who would complete her
And accept her whole.
For behind the pretty face lies the scars, the wounds, the imperfections, everything that makes her who she is.

An imperfect beauty is the reflection she sees-
yet perfect for the beast that searchers for her too.

For he is the perfect paradox of her
The beast visible to the eye but behind the scarly imperfections is an untouched unknown beauty, a bewilderment of love and sincerity.
Waiting, longing to be discovered…

They both seek fervently to be accepted, loved and wanted – through the beauty and its scars; through the beastly imperfections and its passions..

All she is, is a simple imperfection of a beauty searching for her beast..

Rantings of an ‘ImPerfect’ ‘Perfect’ me…

I look into the mirror and i see the reflection of the “not so perfect” me..
Dressed down, sweat pants, baggy pull over, messy hair, no make up..
But its me!
I enjoy the occassional dress up, but not a fan of make up, but love dark eyes!
I choose not to dress to impress criticisng eyes, but what “IM” comfortable in..
I cry at the smallest things and laugh hard at the silliest!
I enjoy the beauty and simplicity of nature, and its captivating awe that will leave me marvelling hours at end..
Oh how I love the thrill of adrenalin that gets the heart racing too!
Yes my heart skips a beat at the sound or sight of a sweet, loving or kind word..

THIS IMPERFECT PERFECT MESS IS ME..

Ive been searching all this while for the 1 that could understand this “not so perfect” me in a place where the ideal is all that keeps the eye pleased..
In a world where the perfect image cannot be compromised, we seek to up keep and maintain images of a reflection of some 1 else.. we loose sight of ourselves in trying to be”perfect “!
But guess what the person ive been searching for all this while to acknowledge and accept me….  was right here all along & that is  – Me!

Ive learnt that you have to Love you for who you are! Never change yourself to fit the likings of another or to fit in!
Be comfortable in your own skin! You gorgeous without all that make up, or the teeny tight fitting pieces that to the world is “perfect”!

You dont need the world to like or approve of you for you to like or approve of yourself!

Perfection starts with realising our imperfections and that gives us beauty beyond any make up cover in the world!
Be YOU,  Be …. Be’YOU’tiful 🌼

This craze, a plague! 

Im plagued by this uneasiness.. 

By this craze, 

Almost a sense of desperation.

Well, is it??

I cant bring myself to shake the feeling, well not totally.. 

Yes i said it, it plagues me!!

When im down and out  

Or when im left alone with my thoughts.. 

These pricking thoughts that swallow my peace and wreck at an anxious heart..

Do i just throw my hands up and let it ‘all go’?

Do i let myself be consumed by it just a ‘little’?

Or do i fight this unsettling feeling and wait….. just patiently wait on it to pass?!?

I console myself with reassuring words, words of a Lord so Kind so Merciful, yes my Lord that has tested me to this point;

Where i realise it is the point where i make it or break it!?!

In this moment you wonder, you ponder, you get lost among all the wrong intent.. ‘keep strong’ hope whispers as it tugs at the bits of sanity that is left to be consumed by a ‘little’ that would let it ‘all go’..