Confessions of a Màma..

Sitting back reflecting on all the mummy articles read and the various aspects mentioned, they play on your conscience as the heart fills with guilt. Guilt of being so feverlously invovlved in not doing whats best or good for them..

Yes them, the little people in your life, your little companions, the greatest of blessings set out to fill your life with such happiness and bliss that we often take for granted or fail to see..

Too busy in the rush of this crazy life, drop and pick up at school, cooking that pot of food and serving hot roti, tidying up after toddlers, juggling that part time work that you so desperately cannot let go off ‘cos of the pressures of living and making ends meet for the little pleasures of your companions..

We forget to praise when we should,
Acknowledge little actions,
Console lil eina’s,
Boost morale and confidence when need be,
And simply just love deeply and affectionately in a moment that is not to pass again..

We yell and vent our lifes frustrations at innoncent eyes that come tugging at clothes looking for approval, acknowledgement, or praise for that lil deed which may seem quite minute but holds the most in their lil hearts..

When rushing through your days routine, you chase off moist eyes and an aching heart with “you’re ok, it wasnt a bad fall, carry on playing”. A moment that you would not get back to console and give warmth to a little soul awaiting u to take them in your arms to love and cherish so that they are reaffirmed that you are there ALWAYS AND FOREVER TO FALL BACK ON..

Tears stream down my cheeks, as my hearts burdened by the guilt of these unconscious actions of destruction. By the complete ignorance to the great blessing that stands before you with open arms..

The many moments that passed untouched with love, appreciation and adoration! The lil actions unseen by a proud or enthusiastic Mummy, those lil very lil moments will not be relived..

We truly take for granted the blessings Allah has soo mercifully and magnificently placed before us! But do not let your heart be engulfed in sorrow and despair as it is never too late to make ammends, to realise what is of utmost importance; to not let the harshness and bitterness of life overcome the goodness and kindess from within..

That point of realisation is an achievement, a blessing as it is through Allahs power He guided you to this..

As much as the guilt daggers through the depths of your heart as the reality of your actions flash before your eyes, know that He is waiting for you to make that change and turn to Him..

As it is through Him and Him alone that broken hearts are mended, aching hearts find ease, lost souls find guidance & simply where all the cures to an aching heart ly…

The ♡ in waiting..

It feels like history repeating itself..
As the words ring in my ears a sound that they ever so familiar to. It is truly said Allah is the best of planners and no doubt Allah sure is..

I sit and reflect at my situation – my desperateness, this sesne of loss that overwhelmed me at 1 point has turned into something bigger..
At that point in time all tHat made sense was the hot wells that filled my eyes, the staggering piercing at my heart and a mind that was lost beyond reason.

A time where the “why” was a constant search wishing on a hopeful answer. Nothing made sense – nothing would have – nothing could have..
But here i am days, weeks, months later and a strong sense of calm soothes the longing heart..

The heart no longer aching, my mind not lost in wicked wonder anxiously going back and forth rethinking, evaluating & questioning everything..

As it is all too familiar for the heart that has been in waiting..